Personal Wishes for a Memorial
Service or Funeral Service (A witness to the Resurrection)
"We know that
we have passed from death to life..."
I John 3:14
When
Death Comes...
If I should die before I
talk with you about the reality of my own death, how will
you know about the celebration? How will you know where to
come, what to expect, what songs to sing? I tell you now because
tomorrow is not promised to everyone. I tell you now so that
your good-bye can be whispered, not in deep and terrible grief,
but in the sure knowledge that we come at last to a time of
splendor.
When I die, come to church
and worship with our friends. Comfort them with your nearness,
your love, your faith. Bring a solemn joy, but when you sing,
let it be a mighty hymn of the church, a gospel message of
strength and love and triumph.
And if at the end you think
to sing, "I Am the Resurrection and the Life," and
clap your hands, there will be little doubt that you know
me well, and will have sung, for me at least, the very best
good-bye.
From: "A Time of
Splendor" by Roberta Liddiard
Preparing
For Death...
Establish your personal
relationship with God in Christ. Life eternal begins now,
not at the time of death. Maintain a life of worship, study,
and service, in constant dependence upon the grace of God,
and continuous obedience to the call of Christ.
Provide for the care of
your dependents - wife or husband, children under age, and
other dependents. Periodically review your total insurance
and investment program. Make sure you know what protection
is needed for each one who depends on you. Make a careful
list of all your assets and where papers for each may be found.
Prepare for the disposition
of your property. Make your Will or Living Trust periodically
with your attorney. Bel Air's Endowment Fund Committee is
also available to assist and offers "Your Guide to a
Christian Will" prepared by the Presbyterian Foundation.
Give particular attention to these questions: Who will have
custody of my children? How will each dependent be cared for?
What persons and institutions will receive gifts and bequests?
Select the form of burial
service and the disposition of your body. In consultation
with your family and your pastor, review the Christian memorial
or funeral service. Record your wishes and file one copy with
the church. Indicate your preference with regard to the disposal
of your body (earth burial, vault entombment, cremation).
Consider the donation of your body for medical research.
By planning ahead, and considering
the aforementioned, we can spare our loved ones extra, unnecessary
burdens and, at the same time, insure that our service will
be a witness to the Resurrection.
Some
Questions About Related Matters...
What about cremation?
There is much to say in
favor of cremation. The United Presbyterian Church (U.S.A.)
has no official position with regard to cremation, nor does
it seek to guide its members toward one form of disposal of
the body rather than another. Earth burial, vault entombment,
or cremation are all morally acceptable means of disposition.
How may a body be donated
for medical purposes?
Forms for designating organs
or parts of the body, following death, are available at the
Department of Motor Vehicles, to be attached to the back of
one's driver's license. Your family doctor or attending physician
will be able to advise you regarding bequests for research.
How can I avoid life-sustaining
procedures when they would only prolong my suffering and death?
You may draw up a Durable Power of Attorney for Health Care
which should be filed with your records, your doctor, and
your attorney.
What are the legal requirements
of the State of California regarding disposition of the body?
If death occurs without a physician in attendance, the Coroner
or the local law enforcement authorities must be notified
immediately.
What about a living memorial?
It is inevitable that when
you die your friends will honor you and comfort your loved
ones with sympathy cards, notes, and flowers. We accept these
as loving instruments of comport and support. In addition,
because of your wish, your family may be able to direct memorial
tributes to meet specific capital or program needs of your
church, school, or other charitable organizations as a worthy
way of continuing your witness.
About
the Christian Memorial/Funeral Service...
Three notes should sound
throughout the Christian service - which we designate as "A
Witness to the Resurrection": Thanks to God for the life
of the deceased; expression of grief based on a realistic
recognition of the separation made by death; and victory over
death made manifest by God's act of raising Jesus from the
dead. A Christian service is always forward-looking, but this
does not keep us from remembering what is past with gratitude
and forgiveness.
We suggest the following
for your prayerful consideration...
Consider a service that
will best express the Christian faith. Remember that the church
which has nurtured you and stood beside you throughout your
life will continue to surround you and your loved ones at
the time of your death. This ministry will be enhanced by
your witness made clear ahead of time, including the selection
of scripture, music and hymns.
Consider the church as
the place to hold the service.
Remember that in the church
we were baptized and dedicated to God. It was here that we
made our confession of faith and became members. Again, it
was in the sanctuary of our church that we took our wedding
vows. Finally, we have continued to meet in this place week
after week to renew our commitment and to worship Almighty
God. Should not our witness to the Resurrection also be celebrated
in the church?
Consider a closed casket.
Our local funeral homes
have viewing rooms. Certainly, at the discretion of the family,
a viewing can serve the purpose of showing our sympathy and
solidarity with the bereaved. For the funeral service itself,
you may decide ahead of time that the casket be closed. Experience
has shown that this practice helps the family and friends
by focusing attention away from the body to the triumph of
the Resurrection.
Consider discretion and
moderation in the selection of the casket and other displays.
We are counseled by the
Directory of Worship in the furnishing of a casket, flowers,
and other appointments to avoid ostentation and undue expense.
(The forms available below
are for your reference only. They are available for you to
print and bring with you if you have need of our services.
They are also available in hard copy from the church office
and the Memorial Director.)
Name of Mortuary _________________________________________
(The forms available below
are for your reference only. They are available for you to
print and bring with you if you have need of our services.
They are also available in hard copy from the church office
and the Memorial Director.)
Disposition
of Body
(Check preference)
1. Preferred treatment
Embalmed
Not Embalmed
Buried in Earth
Without vault
With vault
Interred in Mausoleum
Cremation (preference for
disposition of ashes)
2. Casket to be of:
Natural wood
Metal
Fabric covered wood
3. Arrangements for bequests
for research have been made with
This booklet is to be filled
out, kept in a personal file (not a safety deposit box), or
given to next of kin, pastor, or executor of your estate,
with a copy filed in the church office for the Department
of Discipleship and Worship. If church membership is transferred,
the office copy will be forwarded.
(The forms available below
are for your reference only. They are available for you to
print and bring with you if you have need of our services.
They are also available in hard copy from the church office
and the Memorial Director.)
Service
Preferences
Type of Service (Check
preference):
Funeral Service at church followed by grave side service
Memorial Service only
Private Burial Service followed by
Special Memorial Service at the Church
Funeral Service at the Mortuary followed by Graveside Service
Private Burial Service only
